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Two acoustic songs

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released November 24, 2012

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about

shaekrispinsky Tampa, Florida

I usually sing and play guitar in ...y los dos pistoles. I write various other fictions and like cats. A lot.

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Track Name: Elise in Freefall
Bad thoughts, bad faith, bad skin -
Allen never loved me, did I ever love him?
There's a void, there always is, and a hunger
but bring me bowls of honey, I'll still shudder.
Maybe I'm not so good at the feeding,
maybe I'm only good at the ache -
carrying and bearing and burying that weight.
But a poet nonetheless and when the words don't make sense
the words are the weight
the words are the weight I can't lose
no matter how far or fast I move.
Maybe I thought I could fly.
Maybe I jumped 'cause I thought I could fly
seven stories high.
Maybe I jumped 'cause I thought I could fly
into that dizzy, silent sky that would hold me without breaking
if I believed my life weren't for the taking
I would have stayed
I would have stayed terra firma.
Learned to do that Good Woman thing:
learned to cook, learned to sew, learned to sing.
Maybe I thought I could fly.
Maybe I jumped 'cause I thought I could fly
seven stories high.
Maybe I jumped 'cause I thought I could fly.
Maybe I wanted to fly.
Maybe I jumped 'cause I wanted to fly
seven stories high.
Maybe I jumped 'cause I wanted to fly - oh, why not?
Track Name: Martyrs and Wives
I'm trying to wear this weight well,
to force myself from this room, this room where I dwell
for hours and hours and years
to kiss all my fears on their lips, scream I'm better than this
because sometimes, sometimes a lie
a lie can be right, like when I say, "I don't miss myself.
I'm glad that bitch ran off with somebody else.
I don't miss myself."
Oh but sometimes, sometimes a lie
a lie is a lie
and I'm lying, I'm lying to you
I'm trying to do all those things I need me to do.
It starts with small steps like trying to kill
everything inside that has grown its own will
then I push off to better things
like poisoning salvation when she stops and she sings,
"I don't miss myself. I'm glad that goddamn awful bitch
ran off with another, got lost in her lover,
she's his problem now, she's his problem now!"
Now that sometimes, sometimes a lie
a lie is a lie
a lie is a lie
oh a lie is a lie
and I'm lying
I'm lying to you